*Is it the law to have to learn to read? If not, I don’t want to do it.
*How are you doing in school, Fritz? I’ve already defeated one subject.
*Why is 6 basically 9? Why does 9 get all the attention?
*What was the first season ever?
*That taekwondo class was a lot of work.
*We have to go back to school? Well, at least we had a good New Year’s Day.
*I like to destroy things. What’s wrong with that?
*Shapes do not belong in math. Shapes are not math. There is no such thing as chemistry! [he meant geometry, but forgot the word]
*Can you put the heat on? It’s really cold in here. [it was 77 degrees in the house]
*[after getting accidentally glutened] Me: That gluten was pretty yucky, huh? Him: No, actually it tasted very good!
*Yesterday I had the last laugh, but today gluten did! [pause while I started laughing] I have no idea what that means but I think I said it right because you’re laughing.
*Him: I was in your belly 12 days! Me: No, actually, it was 42 weeks. Him: Oh. That’s a lot more days than I thought.
*[after his father picked him up and gave him a hug] This never gets old!
*Him: When I woke up this morning it was very loose so I took it off. Me: Took what off? Adrian: My tooth! [that was how he announced he had lost his first tooth]
*I once tried to breed a chicken with a cow [on Minecraft]. It just wasn’t working.
*[referring to the big taekwondo bag Cameron got for Christmas] A bag? That is the lamest thing ever for Christmas.
*40 is not even close to old. 100 is old. Daddis  is getting close to old.
*[Fritz built something with his Magna-Tiles and Adrian wanted to destroy it] Okay, but you have to admire it first.
*[I told him he’d be the man of the house with his father and older siblings at Fall Nationals] You know I’m only 9, right? It’s more like boy of the house!
And a bonus from the big kids
Cameron: A consequence of being tall is you are always looking down at people and that makes you feel bad.
Ani: Yeah, well, when you are short you are always looking up at people and that makes you feel bad, too.